IN A PERFECT world, naptime would be the peaceful punctuation in the middle of the day. A chance for your child to rest, and for you to catch up on all that adulting.

In reality, it’s often a battle of wills. Is it okay to call it quits on naptime? That’s what one reader is wondering this week.

Each week in our new series, Am I Being A Bad Parent?, we hear from a reader who can’t figure out if they’re on the right track with a parenting decision, or if they’ve gotten something 100% wrong. To get a balanced view of the situation, we put the dilemma to a group of Irish parents, keeping things anonymous to encourage honest answers.

This week’s dilemma

Am I being a bad parent by… letting my son skip naptime? I’ve read all about the importance of sleep for development and growth, so it’s really upsetting when my one-year-old won’t nap for me during the day. He does for his minder pretty much every day but when it comes to days with mummy he really resists. Part of me thinks I should force the issue and sleep train him for daytime naps. Am I being unreasonable to let him be, and accept that he’s in relatively good form even if he does skip his nap?

Our anonymous readers’ responses

You’re not being unreasonable by letting him skip naptime. I had a cursed app that tormented me with the level of fragmented sleep my baby was having. I convinced myself that I was doing some sort of neurological damage to him. (He’s turned out fine!) If you are really concerned, could you ask your minder about their routine with him and try to replicate those conditions?

You’re being unreasonable. Establishing a sleep routine is the way to go. I am a novice at this (we’re not quite at toddler stage yet) but I think regular naps are key to parents’ sanity. If they can be achieved they should be.

You’re not being unreasonable, and I feel your pain. This exact thing happened to us. She’d happily nap for the minder, but for us it took endless convincing. We tried everything. Replicating what the minder did, etc. Nothing worked. It resolved itself after about two years, but she’ll still nap for twice as long with the minder.

I think you’re being unreasonable, at least right now. I understand you feel you’re fighting a bit of a lost cause with the at-home naptime, but having one routine with you and a totally different one with the minder is surely going to wreak havoc with his sleep habits. I’d keep trying for another few months at least. He’s only one so this could iron itself out in time.

So what’s the final tally? Is our reader being unreasonable?

No – 2

Yes – 2

Tell us your thoughts in the comments!

Help! Am I being unreasonable? We’re looking for parenting dilemmas from our readers for our Am I Being A Bad Parent? feature. Drop us a line with your reader dilemma on family@thejournal.ie.

Plus, we’re have a two-night family break at Fota Island Resort to give away to one lucky Family Magazine reader. Enter here!

More: Am I being a bad parent… by telling the new grandparents not to visit us just yet?